Hello hello, I hope you’re all having a lovely week!
One thing that’s become very apparent to me since having Cecilia is just how important it is to have a good support system around you. I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships and how much they shape our day-to-day lives, particularly during big life changes. I think it’s something we often take for granted until we find ourselves really needing that village.
Which actually brings me nicely to this week’s episode of the Future Self Series!
We’re officially into part three, where we’re looking at all the people and systems that help us actually build the lives we want. And I really wanted to dedicate an episode to friendships, because I think we spend SO much time thinking about our careers, relationships and personal goals, but very little time actually thinking about the people we want around us through all of it.
Now, we originally had a whole episode planned around the science of building your circle, but we ended up scrapping the plan and doing something a little different. We handed the mic over to the brilliant psychologist Dr Lalitaa Saglani to answer your friendship dilemmas instead!
We’re talking everything from outgrowing old friends and struggling to make new ones as an adult, to navigating friendships that leave you feeling worse about yourself and what to do when the people closest to you don’t support your ambitions.
And in other very exciting news, it’s TALA BICESTER VILLAGE POP-UP OPENING WEEK!!
This is actually going to be a very strange experience for me because, for the first time, I’m going to one of our store openings as a GUEST. Normally I’d be involved in so many different things in the lead-up, so the idea of just turning up and seeing what the team has created is quite surreal. But I’m so excited, and incredibly proud of everything they’ve pulled together while I’ve been on maternity leave.
We’re also taking Ceci away for the first time. Not sure how much she’ll appreciate the visual merchandising or the team’s hard work, but I imagine she’ll have some fairly strong feedback if the feeding facilities aren’t up to scratch.
I’m also discovering that taking a baby away for a weekend requires the same amount of luggage as relocating to another country. So if you see me at Bicester Village looking like I’ve brought my entire house with me, mind your business.
Anyway, lots to get into this week. Hope you enjoy!!
I think we can all agree that friendships get a LOT more complicated as we get older. And whilst we spend so much time thinking about what we want from our careers and relationships, how often do we actually stop to think about what we need from our friends?
Because as Dr Lalitaa reminds us, the people around us won’t always see the same future we do, but that doesn’t mean we should make ourselves smaller to fit into theirs.
“Don’t stop living and dreaming and doing the things that you know you’re capable of because someone else can’t see what you can see.”
So for this week’s homework, Dr Lalitaa has very kindly put together some journal prompts to help you reflect on your friendships, recognise what might need a little more attention and think about how you can build a circle that genuinely supports the life you want to live!
Also, if you haven’t watched the full episode yet, I’ve dropped it below.
I’ve taken this question directly from this week’s episode because I thought Dr Lalitaa’s advice was too good not to share!
I think making friends as an adult is one of those things nobody really prepares you for. When we’re younger, friendships happen almost by default, but suddenly we’re adults and building a circle feels like something we have to actively work at.
And I think the biggest takeaway here is to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to immediately find your ‘village’. You don’t need to attend a networking event and leave with five new best friends!
Instead, start small. Find ways to make the things you already enjoy a little more social, whether that’s joining a weekly class, becoming a regular somewhere or simply being the person who suggests grabbing a coffee.
And remember, not every connection needs to become a close friendship to be valuable. Those wider circles and acquaintances can bring so much to our lives too. It will 100% feel uncomfortable at first, but building meaningful friendships takes time, and I can promise you that your future self will be so glad you started!
We’ve covered friendships and building your village, but next week we’re turning our attention to another one of the most important relationships in your life: your romantic partner.
I’m passing the mic to relationship expert Karen Doherty, who you might recognise from Netflix’s Blue Therapy, to unpack the conversations we should all be having about our relationships, from whether you and your partner actually want the same future to navigating difficult chapters and learning how to grow together rather than apart.
I hope you have a wonderful week & I’ll see you very soon,
